The Stages of Adulting

Our stage of adulting isn’t tied to biological age. It’s tied to the years we’ve actually put into maturing through experience. You are where you are. The only true setback is denying your stage, because that refusal stunts your ability to grow up.

The Child

The Child knows nothing of responsibility. They see what is done, but not what it takes to maintain order or consistency. Someone else is always the General Manager of their life.

The Grown Kid

The Grown Kid can complete certain tasks and sometimes take on responsibilities alone. But they still need a General Manager to remind them, reteach them, and follow up on what’s been done.

The Baby Adult

The Baby Adult begins taking responsibility for their Areas of Adulting. This is the “training stage” of becoming the General Manager of their own life. They draw on what they’ve learned from the first two stages, but now experience adulting firsthand. They fail more than they succeed, but with each attempt they gain wisdom. Once they succeed more often than they fail, they move forward. Guidance and mentorship are still key at this stage.

The Grown Adult

The Grown Adult manages their Areas of Adulting with intention and consistency. They take full responsibility for their progress and growth. They know how to fail forward; to use setbacks as lessons while continuing upward. When they hit a snag, they seek mentorship or new perspectives to refine their approach and keep improving.

The Mature Adult

The Mature Adult has experienced enough in a particular area to mentor and guide others. They understand that lived experience comes in layers, and they adapt as life evolves. Maturity here means both mastery and humility: knowing how to lead, and knowing when to keep learning.

It’s rare to meet someone who has reached the level of Mature Adult in every Area of Adulting. Maturity comes in the areas we give attention to, work on intentionally, fail in, and persevere through.

Growing up is as painful as it is beautiful — if you approach it with the right mindset.